I think Alexis' love for Craig is more of an infatuation. With the evolution of their online relationship, it seems as though she is practically addicted to talking to him and would rather spend her time on the computer rather than interacting with real people. This could be a stretch but I couldn't help but picture a fat kid sitting at his computer with a bag of Dorito's playing World of Warcraft. I know...I know, this is a love story and has nothing to do with online video games, but I couldn't help but picture the similarities between these two alternate worlds. I just think that Alexis was truly wasting a lot of time talking to Craig for hours upon hours every night when she was a college freshman! There are so many new people to meet and clubs to join and places to explore and she seemed to have missed out by logging onto her computer for all those hours talking to a guy 3 hours away whom she'd never met! She seems like she becomes dependent on her conversations with him because she couldn't find the intellectual material on campus that Craig could discuss with her. This I find to be absurd. Once again, I'd like to stress that she is a college freshman....there are worlds of opportunities at Lehigh for students to take advantage of in order to meet people who can discuss topics of shared interest. I think I'm allowed to say that as fact because I was once a freshman at Lehigh as well and know for fact that opportunities upon opportunities were thrown at me in order to pursue an ambition.
I think a lot of my problems with this whole thing stems from the fact that this takes place in 1998. It's not 2009 when there are websites like eHarmony, JDate, match.com, etc. Instead, Alexis met Craig in a chatroom where it's a lot easier to meet people with intentions completely separate from your own. And when I say separate intentions, I mean the ones you hear about on the news with killers and stalkers and such. At this point, in 1998, the internet hadn't evolved into what it is today, so the acceptability of an online relationship is hard for me to grasp.
In terms of the idea of "love" in dealing with this end of the spectrum versus couples who remain strictly online, I think the couples who remain online are solely looking for someone to talk to outside of their social circles. Sometimes it's nice to be able to "vent" about our lives to people who really don't have any weight on our personal matters whatsoever, but at the same time, I don't think I would want to do that. I think it's pretty creepy to spill your inner most thoughts to someone who you've never met in person, because no matter how much you may think you trust someone, like Alexis said about Craig, you never truly know who they are until you meet them in person (that's my opinion, feel free to disagree). A person can be whoever he or she wants to be while behind the invisible walls of the internet...but I am getting off topic. The other end of the spectrum, Alexis' end deals with true loving companionship. While yes, it was great that she found someone who she connected with so well, I just don't think you can trust that as real love and believe that the other person whom you can't see actually feels the same way.
Becca,
ReplyDeleteI also thought that Alexis seemed to be spending to much time online and that she could have been missing out on the college experience. A lot has changed since 1998 and I wonder if you could find this same type of story occurring. I think people don't trust chat rooms anymore.
Becca,
ReplyDeleteI agree with so much of what you said about how Alexis approached this relationship. It did seem that she took this relationship very serious for it only starting as an online relationship. I found it amazing that they both walked around for TWO hours in Port Authority and still didn't give up. I know cell phones weren't that big back then but still that is a lot of patience. I for one would have thought that there was a miscommunication or he just didn't come. At which point I would have given up about an hour after looking.
The fact that it was 1998 where chat rooms were the basis of finding people online also led me to believe that its strange that they found each other. Even now in 2009 where dating online is a norm it is hard. Just makes me wonder, was dating in 1998 more fulfilling than it is now in 2009? Did those relationships based on getting to know each other, instead of common interest like eHormony does better?
I'm not sure that I can agree that people have lost trust in chat-rooms. Personally, I know several people who frequently use chat rooms whether to communicate with friends or simply for entertainment purposes.
ReplyDeleteLuis raises an intersting question though. There has clearly been a shift towards these on-line dating resources like e-harmony. Personally I believe that the relationships where you get to know a person are far more fulfilling than simply bieng matched up with someone based on a survey you completed. One of the most important components of a relationship is the building aspect where you feel each other out and figure out how one another works. Sometimes the strongest connections are between two completly different people who probably shouldnt match up under common interests. It makes me curious just how successful those site actually are at creating long lasting, loving relationships.
I totally agree with what you're saying. But maybe Alexis just didn't find the right people to hang out with. I know some people LOVE Lehigh and some people hate it. It really depends on the person? However, I feel like there are still a lot of ways to get involved then? Maybe there was something bigger that resulted in Alexis sitting behind a computer.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ryan. I don't exactly know how sites like e-harmony work, but I would say that it's better to get to know a person versus filling out a 3838 question survey and getting matched. Because it brings up the question, if you and your "match" don't work out, does it mean that you're doomed to be alone?
I think the relationship that Craig and Alexis had was similar to a real relationship. I mean, they had to trust that both of them were not lying and saying the truth and they did get emotionally attached before they physically saw each other.
Which brings up the question, what would happen if one of them was lying about something?
Hahahahaha "This could be a stretch but I couldn't help but picture a fat kid sitting at his computer with a bag of Dorito's playing World of Warcraft." Thanks Becca, you just entertained me for the night, lol.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, Becca, I completely agree with you that Alexis missed out on a ton of freshman experiences as a college student. However, it was her choice to do so, and I don't think that just because she stayed home, that what she experienced wasn't "real love." I mean, she had a deep emotional and intellectual connection with this guy -- if that's not love, then what is? Just because she wasted away her college experience (some might say), I don't necessarily think it wasn't real love.
I would agree with Michelle that simply because she Missed out on a lot in college, it doesnt mean that she didnt experience real love. I do think that the stuff that she missed out on in her relationships does indicate that her idea of love may not be a strong as some other peoples. She didnt even meet this guy until like four months after starting to talk to him. She missed out on all the little stuff that makes relationships so amazing in the begining. I wonder if that had any effect on her relationship once they were together in real life.
ReplyDelete